To Troubled Families

Marriage problems. Troubles with children. Disagreements over the Bible.
Homes are falling apart. How can we endure?

Remember you’re not alone. As a start, read the book of Genesis. You’ll
see husbands and wives, parents and children making a lot of mistakes
and living with tremendous pain. But they endured. So can you.

Don’t let guilt crush you. If you’ve done wrong or neglected to do right, own
it, confess it to God and move on. David failed as a husband with
Bathsheba and as a parent with his spoiled son Adonijah, but he accepted
God’s forgiveness and is at peace now (II Sam.11:4; I Kings 1:6; Heb.
11:32).

At the same time, avoid taking all the blame. Conscientious Christians can
easily fall prey to this syndrome. “What did I do wrong? What did I do to
cause this?” You’re not a perfect parent or mate. No one is.

Expect criticism. Some of it may be just and helpful. If it is, admit it and
learn from it. But some criticism will be unfair. Those who have never been
through these problems can’t imagine themselves having them and can be
unsympathetic and harsh—until the same thing happens to one of their
children or grandchildren.

Lean on Christians who understand and care. Family scandals are
extremely hurtful and embarrassing. No one knows this better than those
who have been there. Don’t hesitate to open up and talk to these
counselors right in front of you. Their own struggles have made them
plenty strong enough to help you bear your burdens (Gal. 6:2).

Remember that everyone has a will. A good father can have a bad son and
the son of a bad man can choose not to be like his father (Ezek. 18:1-14).
Stand alone with God when necessary. “When my father and my mother
forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me” (Psa. 27:10). Love God first
and more than any loved one (Luke 14:26; Matt. 10:34-37). Never
compromise for family.

Be patient and press forward. Time can change a lot of things. However
long the prodigal son was gone must have seemed like eternity to his
father, but in time the son changed (Luke 15:11-24).

Believe that good will come out of and in spite of the worst situations. Be
faithful regardless of the outcome and you’ll grow in ways you won’t even
realize. Do the right thing and you’ll influence people without knowing it.
Character is forged in the fires of hardship, the “furnace of affliction” (Isa.
48:10).

Keep your mind on that home where these troubles will be no more. “In the
world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the
world” (John 16:33).
Kerry Duke